Hellsing Ultimate is owned by Kouta Hirano and Studio Madhouse, and licensed by Geneon, Madman Entertainment, Manga Entertainment, and Funimation.

Episode 06: Jour de Colère

Cast:
KaiserNeko – Pip Bernadott
Hbi2k – Alexander Anderson
Kira Buckland – Heinkel
Megami 33 – Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing
Nowacking – Police Girl/Ma Cher
Danielle McCrae – Zorin Blitz
Takahata101- Alucard
EileMonty – Pip (Child)
Antfish – Pip’s Grandfather
Chris Zito – Mercer
Stephen Krosecz – Hebert
Marc “theEngineer” Swint – Willingham
XtheDarkOne – Erholtz
Jerry64x – Riegel
Christopher “Generalvan” Guerrero – Enrico Maxwell
N/A – Italy
Kaggy – Mexico
OctoPimp – Poland
BohBear – Canada
Ricerpirate – KKK Leader
ShockDingo – Jim
Matt McMuscles – Andrande

FEATURING
Father D’Giorno: Christopher “Kirbopher” Niosi
Young Priest: Sonic Mega
Comm Officer: NateWantsToBattle
Captain: Tomamoto

Support us on Patreon:
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Thanks to all of our Patreon supporters:
Craig Thompson
Christopher Ryan Scott
Steve
Jason Enniss
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Morning After D
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AnyEdge
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Van Tarver
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Cole Rigby
Dean Walter
Chulainn Howard
Daniel Hickson
Courtney Davies
Tavaris Thompson
Tyson Bekkers
Evan Parmenter
Matthew E. Cooper
Tatsuo
Zachary Wisniewski
John Caldwell
Engineer
NeonPixieStyx
Cole Stormoen
Adam Staiger
Jacob Wehunt
charles wade lybbert
Stephen Lundberg
Brian
Francois van Eeden
Tyrone Kelly
Kyle Morris
Robert Glanville
Alexander Hyslop
Liam Ellis
John Thomas William Miller
Aries Smith
thepopeofatheism
Declan Francis
Darrell Reed
Charles Dooley
Justin Mansour
Ray Mos
Matt
Ryan McCully
Sawyer Gardner
J. L. Schultz
FoLokinix
Brooke Allen
Nick
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Kyle
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Jared Bressler

  • miqvPL

    You promised 2 episodes per year and we didn’t get shit. Too busy counting that Patreon money? Or running a shitty gaming channel? Sadly Your patreons are retarded enough to sponsor You further, so the situation won’t get any better. And I wish I could be like You- sleep peacefully knowing that I rip off so many people

  • Shane Anson

    Well in one of the latest videos they said HUA 7 is coming before years end, that was like 5 days ago, so I trust they will release on New Years Eve

    • miqvPL

      get ready to be disappointed as fuck then.

  • Chainer

    Ah man, I miss this show. I wish more episodes had come out before it was put on a Berserk-esque hiatus. To my great surprise though, Gutsu got off the boat before episode 7 came out.

  • Tim Lopez

    sad no ep 7

  • Xenau

    Seras: Mr Bernadotte, wake up! It was just an illusion like push-up bra or stilletos.
    Bernadotte: Wait!…You wear a push up bra?
    Seras: I don’t wear a bra.
    Grunt: Ooooh my god…

    XD, no matter how many time i hear it it kills me.

    So, when’s Girlycard? It’s killing me! I know the business went into other avenues but this just seems like wasted potential. If its legal, i hope it gets resolved.

  • Annonly your’s

    Why wasn’t this mentioned or posted on YouTube guys?
    Oh wait…nvm this still last year’s episode….oh well pickers can’t be choosers I guess.

  • Domehammer

    The pope bit when I watched it when this originally came out really bothered me as felt like kind of rude. However now think it was fair, the Pope is not a good man with words recently after USA election. Just is a bad man and joke is now funny.

    • people was insulting me when he was “elected”, but now it shows that, as always, pope’s word are just for show, vatican and catholic church is never going to do anything for anyone, except themselves.

  • Ryan Coleman

    I’m so disappointed in you TeamFourStar. You just don’t care about this series or the people that enjoy it, do you?

    • i fear that they are having legal issues…

  • Sa Zulu

    I understand how much effort you guys put into it, I understand it can take time, and I understand that the next few upcoming parts might actually present some serious issues that may be hard to cover in a funny way (and may require age restriction on Youtube…depending how far you go down those multiple rabbit holes)…
    but, dammit, I want my Seras Victoria (AKA the Police Girl…with the big titties) to…well…become a “real fucking vampire”, to borrow a favorite quote of mine.
    I should have never watched the original…now I want to see Alucard at his max, I want to see the Anderson fight, and, most of all, I want to see the climax of “bitches love cannons”!
    Take your time to do it right, but please do it. Much like the official release, the suspense is killing me!

  • Marshal Malone

    ok guys it’s almost christmas and this was supposed to be done after holloween? how you gonna promise 2 a year when you can’t even get 1 out on time?

    • Sa Zulu

      While I certainly sympathize (especially with what is coming next)…some of the content and events that come next are going to be really hard to handle in a comedic light and could require age-restriction on Youtube.
      That said, I want me some new Hellsing Ultimate Abridged!

      • Chainer

        I would have thought the same about every previous episode as well, and many people were actually saying exactly what you’re saying right now, before each new episode. TFS are masters at figuring this out by now. I’m sure each episode would actually continue getting funnier, even if they had to make some pretty significant rewrites and alterations to do so

  • Shane Anson

    Ya know, I could see them releasing episodes late if this was a few years back when they just did it in their free time without help. But they have over $10,000 a month through patreon. This is literally their job that they get paid to do. I love TFS they are all amazing and funny people, I meet Curtis every year he comes to my convention. But they need to do one of two things. Either A – Release episodes as scheduled and promised – (2 Hellsing a year and 1 DBZA every month or so) or B – Not make those promises in the first place and keep us updated.

  • Scruffy Scruffington

    I’m not one to complain about free content being late…

    …so I won’t complain. Take your time, mates; sure the end product’ll be fantastic.

    • Matrim

      I wouldn’t complain if they weren’t making promises that they can’t keep.

  • NappaKnowHow

    Really disappointed we haven’t received the next episode yet even after the 2 a year promise. You guys make such quality material but then ruin it my making tons of false promises for release times

    • Joshua Tribble

      You’re aware Kaiser’s C drive fucked up horribly, right? They have lots of other things going on and have said numerous times episodes arrive when they arrive. Not early, not late, when they arrive.

    • They do alot of free entertainment for us, so personally I feel we shouldn’t complain too much.

      • chris

        I would agree if a promise hadn’t been made.

      • I don’t think it was worth much, you should be more disappointed that we didn’t get any episode this year. Even then, it is made so infrequently that more waiting means absolutely nothing.

  • knaruto

    Please keep making these episodes i wait for them every year!

  • Bryce Taylor

    Are there any updates on the future releases? It’s been almost 10 months and there’s never been an update as to the next release, despite promises of possible bi-annual episode releases….I was really looking forward to this being a thing this year and can’t help but feel somewhat betrayed. I do however appreciate all of your team’s hard work and the quality of writing for the series has been wonderful and constantly improving. Hell, all parts of the DBZ:A series have improved constantly, and I love it. Just thanks again for all of your team’s hardwork.

    • they already released 2 this year (5 and 6) on january-february
      im expecting 7 for middle January…
      and serie is only 10 episodes… only 4 until the end.

      • Florent Latinier

        5 was released at Halloween in 2014 mate. 6 was release in january of this year indeed, but was supposed to be released at Halloween in 2015. we only had 1 episode this year, and its the one that was late from last year. Dont misunderstand me though, I dont blame them for releasing late and all. The content is so good that I would keep watching event if they released 1 DBZA episode a year, and one HUA episode every two years

  • Loko Pérez

    WHERE IS IT? I’M DYING!

  • brian

    Cannot wait for the next one…worse than waiting for christmas. Sweetheart I’ve got so many eyes. Oh who the fuck am I offending, the nazis?

  • Justin Zullo

    late as usual for any of the abridged works, but have no fear every lets play will be on time and out door. gotta make that ad revenue. it was nice when it was a way to add supplemental income to your works but now it seems like you all don’t care and would rather just play games.

  • Alexander Ingraham

    K… 2 years later….????

  • Swiss Superman 2.0

    Can’t wait for episode 7!!! Can’t really wait for episode 8! It will be the best of the series

  • Chris Logterman

    That Climax is gonna be worth the wait

  • Jesse Morey

    Is there going to be more Hellsing episodes? 🙂

    • Dylan Knight

      About a Month from now the next one should come out.

      • Manuel Alejandro Bass

        I hope that, really hard wait a whole year for just one cap… but men it so good every time

      • Thomas

        I want to be upset about the slow pace, but the quality more than pays off. This is one the true gems of the genre. Thank you all for making it.

      • Adrian Szymankiewicz

        soooooooo… Where is it?

      • Dylan Knight

        They always have scheduling issues, I was just stating what Kaiser and Taka had said.

  • janeDoe001

    This was pretty good. (have to admit, it felt like the end of the episode was trying to emulate the big speech at the end of Episode 4)

    I can’t wait to see Seris going all Rob Zombie on that triathlete! 😀 (I’m picturing either Scum of the Earth or House of 1000 corpses as the music)

    jD001

  • youri

    The mexican inquisition!

  • krolshi

    So glad this was helf off until now , cause those were some pretty good lines and references x,D can ‘t wait for the next one !

  • palazard95

    lol
    “I bring the Mexican Inquisition”
    “Oh, I did not expect you,”
    “No one ever does,”

    don’t know why but this line put me in tears

  • XxTenTailedBeastxX

    “I don’t wear a bra.”

    “….Oh, my God.”

  • DoubleBaconator

    I thought she was gonna crush me….with her giant vagina

  • Anyone knows the full name of the Italian Order of Brother Andrea?

  • HeirOfRage

    I should watch more of this show, holy shit this is great

  • Jbear_50

    I was actually both offended and laughing my ass of at the Salvation Army part. Offended because I’m Canadian and laughing because it’s funny

  • Yxgar Baleheart

    Enjoy this now. They are being taken down from Youtube, and these might follow.

    • Yxgar Baleheart

      Well, they worked it out whatever it was.

    • Matrim

      Not as far as I can tell…all are up.

  • captvito

    I fucking died laughing at the end of the episode. I always thought those knights looked like the KKK.

  • Shawntos

    So I had a thought while watching this. Would it be possible to convince you guys to abridge the original Hellsing anime in the style you used for DBZ Kai? Got plenty of time to think about it since it’s gonna be what, another two years before you finish Ultimate. That’s assuming you stick to schedule….

  • get2choppa

    Holy sacrilegious hell batman

  • Stonelessword

    This was bad. Really bad. Only 1 good joke in the entire thing.

  • Been waiting so long…made my freaking day.

  • Been Waiting for this, did not disappoint!

  • ShadowLDrago

    Yeah, I’m gonna be that guy and say, it’s Ma Chère, not Ma Cher. That aside, this was hysterical! Well worth the wait.

    • jpic89

      Yeah, you really shouldn’t be that guy, since you’re wrong. It can be both.

      • Uhtameit

        Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaactually, that first guy is perfectly right. When the subjective is feminine, it’s “Ma Chère”, when it’s masculine, it’s “Mon Cher”. You really ought to stfu if you don’t know how to speak French.

      • OneTruSasuke

        Women… >.>

  • DemonicPenguin8

    Hey I just found something funny (I am 16 just to clear things up) anyway my dad likes watching disgusting things and I was browsing the recommended section on netflix and since my dad watched the human centipede netflix recommended white chicks.

    • Creo

      White Chicks was amazing.

  • YYYEeEEESSSS!!!!

  • Palk

    That last picture of Jesus tho!

  • deckera

    yay

  • invader

    Any chance on getting subs? Hearing english is kind of hard and the accent isn’t helping. Reading would help alot

  • SovereignGod

    I was both somewhat turned on and lost my shit when seras said that she did not wear bras!……
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Don’t judge because somewhere deep down we all truly wish she was real.

    • VenomusPL

      Oooooh…my goood

    • WebZenMaster

      I’d say at least half the male viewers feel the same way my friend.

  • Gigantor The Space Age Robot

    Still laughing…….You guys have not lost your touch!!!!!

  • Don Diego De la Vega. Didn’t expected El Zorro to be name dropped here, and certanly not as a member of the inquisition.

    It was hilarious XD

  • Connor046

    I mean….It’s great….but….

    3 years. 3 years since Alucard wasn’t a glorified cameo. I know there’s probably only so much that can be done but man of man do I miss his presence.

    • TheFabledFamilyGuy

      I’m gonna be that guy. It hasn’t been three years, it’s been two. Also, Hellsing Ultimate is a 12-13 episode anime, each around an hour long. So that means it’s probably gonna be a 12-13 episode abridged series as well. That’s how Team Four Star works, they usually take three episodes worth of content and put it into one abridged episode. Since each episode of Hellsing is that amount of time, thats how we get the episodes. Alucard, isn’t going to show up until, around episode eight and not just be a “glorified cameo” and what I mean by that is actually be a full time character again. Or so I’ve heard from people who’ve actually watched the anime. From what I hear though, we’re going to get a really good episode in seven with Anderson.

      • Actually, I’m gonna be that guy too. It’s 10 episodes. 10. Just 10. Not 12, not 13, 10. 10 episodes 40-60 minutes long each. 10. So we are officially in the second half already.

  • mando

    Well if it isn’t the CCC: Catholic Combat Clan
    Crucifixes for days

  • mando

    Well if it isn’t the CCC: Catholic Combat Clan
    Crucifixes for days

  • GoodBeatle

    Huge round of applause to the voice talent in Episode 6. Seriously. I absolutely adored the mercenaries. Great hearing Nowacking and Kaiser play off each other, what with Ceres and Pip taking centre stage. Love BohBear…!!!

    To people saying the accents are a stumbling point–just listen to the episode once or twice more. They are enriching, imo, and don’t forget the setting IS Europe. These are about as decipherable as authentic accents, so there’s that, too.

    ***Gotta add, that mercenary reacting to Ceres saying she doesn’t wear a bra………yeah I cried laughing***

  • BlackbirdR71

    I have loved every episode up to this point, but I feel the mark was missed on this one. There were a few funny moments, I’ll admit, and was pretty dry throughout, but it went from “kind of funny” to “not funny” with the Pope bit. I know this is a series based upon mass death and vampiric nazis, but it felt…malicious.

    • Wolfcrawler

      They did good if you check the original episode. It was hard to make good with it, but I still enjoyed it a lot. you’ll like the next one it should and will be fucking awesome.

    • Sypher597

      Yea, I understand what you’re saying, but think of it more as a satireization of the type of people that Maxwell is portraying. He’s the type of person, both in the series and in the abridged series, that would go to great lengths to gain power and maintain the Catholic way, by any means necessary. I agree that some of the things said could be viewed as “cruel,” “Mean,” or “malicious,” they are just making a bit of a joke at the extremists.

      On a lighter note, I do agree with the fact that this was a bit of “hit or miss” I love Kaiser as Pip, and I love the jokes that they pulled from and made good with, but personally I would rather them do a few others. Maybe instead of the “for days” jokes, or maybe the Pope bit, make the jokes about Integra asking for a lighter from her captors, or maybe a joke about Pip making the kiss move with Seras or something. I understand that a lot of hard work and effort that goes into these episodes, and I appreciate getting them at all, but sometimes the joke might be pulled from a wrong angle or might be a little “off” due to time constraints, and I understand completely. There will always be some episodes that seem less than others, but when their bar of quality is so high, even their worse is a gem for some people.

  • gaurdianaq

    I lost it at the crusaders XD that was awesome!

  • FinalAdvance

    a line I’m hoping to be in the episode when alucard finally sees London as it is right now
    Alucard: On the phone get her on the phone I want her on the phone RIGHT NOW
    Integra: (integras ringtone) Hello?
    Alucard: What did you do?
    Integra: Alright… but you can’t be mad at me
    Alucard: What, did you do?
    Integra: First of all… I was driving a car
    Alucard: BULLSHIT!

    • GoodBeatle

      That would be poetry, my friend.

    • Wrath

      Wish this had a like button, i would love to see / hear that on the next episode. It would be awesome.

  • Kawalorn

    Jeez this could really use some subtitles.

    I can barely understand anyone with all those thick accents. I generally have trouble making out what people say in Hellsing Ultimate Abridged.

  • Breakingmass

    Wonderful jerb there fellas, there them canadian steretypes were sure funny, hows aboot we get some maple syrup and celebrate with some pancakes.

    • DemonicPenguin8

      Not sure if actually Canadian or just being a racist piece of shit. So If you are not Canadian you can just fuck right off eh.

  • Legofan412

    I dunno about this episode, some of it feels a bit rushed and lazy… I don’t know what it is but it is lacking a sense of originality…

  • somnif

    Its the “DBZA for Canadians” guy! Awesome. I can’t tell who VA’d Italy though…. hrm.
    Great job everyone, lovely episode.

  • lostsomething

    I loved the Jewish crusaders.

    “You’re sure that you’re Cathaloic? You worship the lord Jesus Christ?”

    “Eh, if we’re killing Nazis we’ll worship a side of bacon.””

    • VenomusPL

      All Heil Bacon!

  • Rectal Fungi

    So… why no ass slap or kiss attempt? Was looking forward to seeing you guys handle those scenes.

  • Nagato Yamiyo

    To be honest the best part of the episode was the end with the KK…Um…Volunteers…and wasn’t this supposed to be 2 Episodes in 1? And that was the reason it took so long?

    • Salas

      Actually the main reason it took so long was because a lot of other things were happening, including setting up their new studio.

  • Domehammer

    You forgot to edit the jewish symbol on the polish crusaders at one point. Once you notice its missing it is impossible to ever not see it.

  • The Urmician

    This was funny shit, was it their best episode yet?.. Not in my opinion but cool if it is your opinion. note: i don’t have a particular favorite as i`m confident enough to wait til the entire series is finished to REWATCH it all together and then decide which one is the best episode.

  • Super Dami Guru

    I…I think… yes, I need to go scrub down the walls of my house now. Praise be to yevon..

  • Yasume

    No one ever expects the “Mexican” inquisition!

  • GoodBeatle

    I need a minute to come down……just…too high on happy to comment right away…brb

    XDDDDDDDDD

  • Rin.Mitsuo

    Best Birthday present EVER!

  • noyjitat

    Awesome! Was beginning to think they had stopped working on this.

  • beamsabre

    That was AWESOME!! I’m more spent than a 19 year old guy at a Playboy Mansion marathon tour. Geez…I need a cigarette…or six!!

  • whydoyouwantmyname

    why is taka not credited

    • whydoyouwantmyname

      on youtube i mean

    • Ssssuuup

      They are uploaded on his YT channel

  • VenomusPL

    Polish jews vs nazi vampires. I loled and expected we would provide Maxwell with the Radio Maryja army 😀

    I feel a connection to the mercenary goose who sighed after the “I don’t wear no bra” line. I sighed too…

  • Fluttershy

    Talk about cutting your deadlines CLOSE!XD

  • pbxellos

    500 holy hozers LMAO. ive been waiting for this episode for quite a while, keep up the great work guys.

  • android19

    ah yes good.

  • JSlick

    LMFAO one of the best ones yet. KKK Canada got me

  • crazyredemu

    I never got how the KKK was Christian, they burn crosses and call the leaders dragons(satan is called a dragon a lot), that can’t be on accident.

    • Salas

      Well the KKK has been reformed a few times. Their first incarnation was mostly just to be angry about the Reconstruction about the civil war and were mostly targeting blacks and northerners (this is where the word carpetbagger comes from). Later incarnations changed a bit but overall kept their old customs and names because symbolism is very important to the Klan and part of what keeps them relatively strong.

      Also, it should be noted that the KKK overall may be Christian but are strongly opposed to Catholics.

  • metalpsyraven

    I enjoyed this Waaaaaay to much *insert Alupo (Alucard and mr.popo fusion) laugh here*

  • Cryptic Shadow

    As the Major correctly stated “I loved it”. Worth the wait, good luck on future productions.

  • MajinCell

    IVE WAITED SO LONG. OH MY GOD. semantics aside: great episode guys.

  • Gelnak

    Oh holy damn! This is the best ending to a month so far in ever!

  • aznkillermage

    Finally! The Crimson fucker returns! Jesus fucking Christ I’ve missed you!

  • aznkillermage

    Second

  • AUSHoGeS

    Great episode guys – I especially loved Kaisers and Nowackings performances and how they bounce off each other I’m really looking forward to seeing how this plays into the next episode knowing what happens.

    I’ve been wondering for a while though why Nowacking isn’t listed in the sites cast info? It just seems like an oversight as you’ve got both future Gohans but not Police Girl ‘Bitches Love Cannons’ Nowacking – anyway great job guys looking forward to the next Ep whatever it may be.

    • thebrawlbro

      I belive that is because none of the Hellsing Actors are listed in the cast info, the same as FF7 Abridged’s cast. The only cast listing is for DBZA.

  • dejo93

    THE WAIT WAS FUCKING WORTH IT

  • Keelanrelyt

    oohhhhhhh
    ive waited far too long

  • chrnocross

    First.

    • Sokolniki

      Landmines!

      • Jagermech

        Landmines?